On Soul Connections and Soul mates
You know when you meet someone for the first time, and it feels electric and amazing? You were sure that you were fated to meet and you feel a really deep connection with this person.
I had an encounter like that in my second year at University. It was an evening in June, I was getting ready to meet some friends at a cafe to have dinner and it suddenly struck me that tonight was an important night. I didn’t know why I thought that. There was an ‘atmosphere’ – when events surrounding your life feel charged with a strong energy and you can feel something building or about to happen.
I was about to meet someone who would be important to me over the next couple of years. The excited energy around meeting this person was like meeting a dear old friend after a very long time apart.
As soon as we met (by chance), we had so much in common and we understood one another. We maintained contact by email for two years and then in my final year at University we had a passionate but short-lived relationship.
Maybe you’ve had an experience like that before as well.
What are those connections?
Is it that you knew that person in a past life?
Is it your soul-mate?
How can you know if someone is your soul-mate?
Lots of people ask these questions in readings.
They feel a deep and passionate connection like that to someone, they have no idea why and sometimes it can be disturbing, especially if they’re happily married or in a monogamous relationship.
I have learned from experience doing these readings that a lot of the time, that kind of encounter is not always a ’soul-mate’ – my definition of a soul-mate here is someone we’re going to have a significant, usually long-term relationship with, as that’s what most of my clients are really asking when they ask those questions: ‘because I had an amazing connection with this person…does that mean we’re meant to be together?’
There are many kinds of soul connections we can have with people.
Here are some of the connections I was taught about through Soul Realignment.
Soul-level Agreements and ‘Appointments’
Before we incarnate, we make ‘appointments’ and agreements with certain souls. Usually we pick out the souls with whom we’ll have important relationships – both short-lived ones and long-term ones.
The reason why you make those soul-level agreements to meet up is because you want to exchange energy and teach each other a little something through your interaction, at a specific time in your life, or for a more prolonged period.
All souls exchange energy with one another. You have your special, unique energies that you’re exchanging in many areas of life –romantically, professionally and socially. Energies that clients have been dealing in that I’ve seen in the past include boldness, courage, compassion, strength, clarity, playfulness, innocence, to name a few. Most people aren’t conscious of what they’re actually bringing to others, but that doesn’t stop them dealing in the energies that they do.
So, what happens when you keep your soul-level ‘appointment’ with someone is that you two exchange energy. Maybe you teach that person something about compassion in the five minutes you spend together. It can happen so indirectly and subtly – maybe through something you say, maybe through your manner. Just by being you.
And perhaps in your encounter they teach you something about playfulness and being carefree that takes your life or even just your mood in a different direction. You may remember the encounter for many years and it feels like a charged event because you REALLY needed and wanted that type of energy they showed up to give you (or should we say, that type of energy they showed up to AWAKEN in you.)
So, often when you have a strong connection like that with someone in person, whether it’s short-lived or long-lasting, you will have set up an ‘appointment’ to meet up in this life and impact one another in a certain way. And that strong connection/feeling of recognition reflects that fact.
Is that person a soul mate? It could be one soul-mate. I say that because my experiences with reading for people show me that many people have more than one soul-mate that they’re ‘meant’ to be with for a lifetime. For some people, it can be the case that there’s only one soul mate relationship but for most souls on a path of accelerated evolution, it tends to be more complex than that. The important question to ask is, do you and this person have a lot of energy to exchange with one another on a long-term basis in a way that serves you both? That’s a question that’s difficult to answer if you don’t know them well, but I find that a bit of time and your gut instinct can help you answer that.
You can also find out more about the type of connection you have with someone by consulting someone who can read your Akashic Record or look into your astrology chart – such as the composite chart and also the synastry between you.
Do we tend to make soul-level agreements with people we’ve known in past lives?
It’s possible. Sometimes a soul will be very familiar to us because we’ve met before. We move in ’soul families’. Your nearest and dearest kindred spirits, those we have a lot in common with, tend to be those who have agreed to incarnate with you and keep you company here. Of course that is not their only role, but we are even pack-animals on a soul-level. We want the familiar and comforting energy of those we have known for a long time; those souls who can support us on our journey when we forget who we are and where we’ve come from.
Apart from the soul-level agreements, there are also unfulfilling attachments in relationships that can bring people together sometimes.
In those cases, you may feel drawn to someone, but not in a healthy way, even if you don’t realize it at the time. For those encounters, you will have no energy to exchange with the person.
When that occurs, it’s the case that these souls didn’t make a soul-level agreement to meet up in this lifetime. But they did make some kind of contract before then, usually in a past life, that is still tying them together.
For example, souls who promised one another five lifetimes ago that they would “always” be together in subsequent lifetimes can end up seeking one another out in this lifetime, even though they have no energy to exchange. Energetically, that can show in a reading as a negative contract – an energetically binding agreement to incarnate together lifetime after lifetime.
That contract can sometimes occur for couples who are happy together – and in that case it often creates a feeling obligation between them and so clearing it helps. But it can also be the reason why people who are learning nothing from one another are still together. They feel compelled to honour that contract, even if its not in their highest good.
And sometimes a contract like that can be one-sided. In those cases, you may feel a pull towards someone but they may feel indifferent towards you and that might be because the contract is still open on your side but they stopped honouring it some time ago.
By contrast, a positive connection will be one where there is a nice exchange of energy going on. (For example, you’re teaching someone courage and they’re teaching you compassion.) Often the energies you’re bringing will be quite different and complimentary – like the yin and the yang energies.
Those are my thoughts and what I’ve learned on the subject of ’soul-mates’. Obviously when I’ve met mine I’ll let you know how all of this measures up to my experiences 
Please leave a comment if you have anything to share on this subject and your experiences of these soul connections.
PS. Do you want to learn to talk to your own spirit guides? If so, I might be the person to help you with that…I just introduced a new 6 week one-on-one coaching program. The first 6 people to sign up get a 20 minute free spirit guide reading PLUS it’s currently at a reduced price. Go here for more details.
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I think I’ve encountered both somebody I have some kind of connection with and somebody else I may have an empty attachment with.
I don’t know if I’ve shared this before, but when I was younger I had a fantastic best friend. We clicked so well and when we were in a store once, some kind of intuitive once compared us to the colours orange and blue – we balanced and complemented each other. I felt very attached to her, but at the time I was dealing with a lot of issues and we both stuffed up the friendship.
Last year I met up with her to go to an event and it felt like we had never been apart. And, to be honest, that really hurt. Knowing that there was a connection and somebody there I could really feel comfortable with, but knowing she didn’t want that friendship back and knowing that even if she did, I still had so many issues that she wouldn’t want to deal with in me.
Will that ever go away? It took three years before I finally accepted I wouldn’t be her friend again and even now it still hurts to remember. I just hate knowing that I still feel comfortable around her in that way that I’ve never felt with anybody else. Argh.
And the empty attachment – I have this friend that feels like my total opposite. The friendship wasn’t exactly healthy either, because he was manipulative and somehow we brought the worst out in each other. Nobody has ever managed to bring out so much anger in me like he has. Multiple times I’ve tried to cut him off, and even though I never miss him I still end up losing my self discipline and talking to him again. I don’t have any want to be friends with him and yet I give in and let it happen again. But that’s my own fault.
I hope I do feel a connection like I did with my female friend with somebody else one day – but I hope it isn’t short lived. It felt like it ran too deeply. Some part of me hopes that one day we’ll be good friends again, but the rest of me really doesn’t want it at all.
Thanks for this post. I rarely encounter information on these types of bonds and it really helped to read about it.
A while ago I watched a video where Abraham-Hicks spoke about soul mates. I’ve heard Abraham speak about this subject before, but I thought this explanation had a lot of depth and clarity:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n7ck4rEg_Co (5 minutes)
I think there’s a lot of nuance and mystery to this topic, especially when you look at it (and life) from a spiritual perspective and consider how all that manifests. It’s fun to explore.
– Bruce
5 years ago, I connected with a man online just as friends at first on a social networking site. There was a very strong pull towards him. When I finally did meet him in person, I wasn’t all that physically attracted to him, that came later. The pull was something I couldn’t explain but I felt that I would be in a relationship with this man. It took 1.5 years later for that relationship to blossom and throughout our 3 years together, it was a struggle. He was so emotionally scarred from an abusive upbringing and women cheating on him that he was very guarded with his heart. That’s why it took nearly two years for our relationship to take place.
I knew early on that we would grow spiritually/emotionally together. Upon many reflections throughout our ups & downs of our relationship, I understood that I was an impetus for his healing and he was my guide to compassion. I am much more tolerant of others’ differences and an more empathetic & sympathetic as well. My eyes to the world has been opened. I also know that he is doing the hard work of healing himself, forgiving those who have hurt him in the past. However, it had to take him breaking my heart in the process to really start his healing.
I am now going through the process of healing a broken heart but somehow, he is also helping me get through it. It’s a little strange and difficult to explain. Anyhow, I don’t know where our path will lead in the future (friends or more or truly parting ways) but I know that I have grown in leaps and bound as a spiritual being and I know that he is finally healing his past so that he can openly give his heart, which has been closed off for a great majority of his life.
That was a great post Anna, it definitely reminded me of a few people in my life. Thanks
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Hi Zora,
Thanks for sharing your experiences. Your friendship sounds a lot like one that I had when I was younger.
Sounds like an old soul mate. You know, you can also ask your angels to clear out any old contracts between you and this person. It doesn’t sound like an empty attachment, but there could be some sort of soul-mate or healing contract that pollutes the energy of it a bit. You can get rid of contracts just by intending it and writing down the intention.
And the same with the other attachment. You can definitely clear the energy around that through setting a clear intention, writing it down and asking for help with it.
Hi Bruce, Thank you so much for your comment!
That is a great video.
Wow Claire that is an amazing story. Sounds like you two might have had some sort of healing agreement but strange that it ended in a broken heart.
Thanks, Andrew! I am enjoying your new blog.
Hi Anna
I really enjoyed this post…really clear
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Hi Anna, thank you so much for this article. I had a very brief intense relationship (extra-marital) with someone who came into my life about 10 years ago, via an internet chat room, and the energetic connection was phenomenal. My father was terminally ill at the time and shortly after his death this man’s mother became terminally ill. This person has been in and out of my life (via phone calls) ever since and every time we speak the vibrational effect on me is very strong. Via a reading I had some time ago i was told we were to marry in a past life but he died on horseback before getting to the wedding. I was given healing around this but his name is forever popping into my head. I never call him, he calls me always unexpectedly. I have never asked him not to call, a part of me seems to “need” this connection. I always think of him at Christmas and do sometimes send him my love telepathically. Your article has helped me, thank you so much. Kind regards Jane
hey thanks for the article.
just recently broke it off with someone in the past few months – and it was very difficult because our love stems from previous past lives. i didn’t know this until i went to see someone but it made sense because every time i kept seeing our future (i kept seeing us together in a town house) then it would go to an image of two overweight lesbians in the desert. i really messed me up for a while because i was wondering if i was seeing my future – that i was really a lesbian still unconsciously in the closet. but when i found out we were together in past lives it made complete sense that that’s what i picked up on.
part of the reason i broke it up with him though was because i guess i had made a contract with someone else – even though my guides warned me about him being bad news. he just made me realize i kept part of my self dormant and this relationship i was in became beneficialness as he wasn’t willing to listen to any advice or improve the quality of his (my bf) life to move onward with me. which hurt a lot – because of the deep connection its like.. why don’t you want to come with me? but maybe we are meant for the future?
but yes the contract with that other man – an alcoholic who became so destructive to me and really messed up my life as a whole – i managed to have a conversation with his higher self and said we go way back in terms of past lives. a spirit guide also said we come from a very specific section from the source – i got a huge sense he will be a healer one day as soon as he decides he’s sick of his own alcoholic addiction. and apparently i’m meant to be a healer as well.
thanks for the article!
Very timely post! I have been deeply affected by 2 relationships that did not last for a very long time, and wondered if there was a deeper connection than what we experienced, or why these men and I were together and what greater purpose it solved (wow, what a slip, I meant to say served).
I guess the key thing for me is to understand how to proceed when I feel that I’ve met a soulmate. Sometimes I feel that there is more to the initial contact, but my usual coming on like gangbusters is wrong. It’s hard for me to sit with those feelings and see how the Universe guides the relationship, with me taking guided, intuitive action when appropriate.
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I agree with Bruce. There is much mystery and naunce to this area of life. Thanks for explaining things so clearly, Anna. This article reinforces many things I’ve previously suspected and expands upon my theories.
It’s good to be reminded that even so-call unsuccessful relationships can have a positive effect in the end. Soul growth, ftw!
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Hi Jane, – I’m really glad the article helped! You two must have had a healing agreement of some kind, as you were both dealing with terminally ill parents. That tends to be the case when there’s a situation like that.
Em – Wow, you must have been quite perplexed seeing that image, interesting to hear your story!
Eleanor – I love those slips. I wonder what they solved for you? I agree that it can be difficult to know when to be proactive and act on feelings and when to let the Universe do its thing.
Byteful, – I agree. You know, I don’t think there are many unsuccessful relationships that we go through. I guess it depends on what your measure of success is. Mine is that you learn something. So, I think every relationship is successful because it propels you forward and you learn something.
hey, I didn’t know where to contact you but your web design layout looked messed up on firefox and opera. Anyways, i just suscribd to your rss.