So you think I’m a bad person/a scammy pants? – Do I look bothered?!
Well, actually, I want you to like me. I admit it - I need your love!!!
I would put that in inverted commas to pretend it wasn’t just me who said that. But sadly it was. Maybe I’ll put this in inverted commas instead:
“One of the most basic human needs is to be liked and appreciated.”
So, how do you cope with it when someone doesn’t like you, or criticizes you, or even thinks you have bad intentions?
This is something I have been faced with occasionally on my path as a professional intuitive (and occasionally as a blogger too). In this post, I share my experiences with this and the lessons I have drawn from it.
Being a little angel in the eyes of others
I grew up wanting people to like me. In the past, I would do things to get them to like me – like respond with kindness even when I’m treated badly. I would love to tell you it’s because I’m a mother Teresa type, but sadly it was all about the ego 
- I wanted people to think well of me!
But being a professional intuitive was like walking into awfully uncomfortable territory for me because some people think it puts you on the margins of society (when I’ve tried so hard to fit in all my life). Perhaps a bit like, in the eyes of some people, being gay and really camp in the Bible belt, or working for the tax people 
Here’s what’s been tricky for me about it:
#1: Passing on messages that people occasionally don’t want to hear
Being an intuitive is like being a messenger. And you know what happens to messengers occasionally, if they’re unlucky? They get shot. Even if the message they passed on was accurate. A tarot card reader from France once told me that being a psychic is a terrible job, because people book readings wanting to know if their terminally ill mother is going to die or wanting to know if someone is their soulmate and when you give them the answer they don’t want to hear, they discredit you. One person in that situation even called me a scam-artist. Ouch.
I have to say that that does not tend to happen very often, but it does come with the territory in general. And I don’t agree fully with the tarot card reader because there are many advantages to this kind of work as well.
#2: People thinking that I must be evil/dumb/deluded/of the devil because of the work I do
I used to live with two Catholic girls in London and one evening they had a party and invited their friends, many of whom were Catholic. One was a Catholic who was doing a PhD at Oxford University in the sciences. When I told him I was a professional intuitive, I got grilled for half an hour on my ideas (including the scientific principles underneath them) and then was told that I’m completely deluded. (And doing people a disservice.)
#3: Being not very socially acceptable in general
My own mother jokes that she would rather hide me in a cupboard when the dinner party guests come round than face the question of “what does your daughter do?” Historically, no-one’s been that keen on psychics (or witches), have they? I’m glad that I probably won’t get burned at the stake this time around.
#4: Those blessed people who think I should work for free
People need healing, right? So therefore healers should work for free. Or for not very much money. I know people who think I charge too much and that I should work for free. (I also know people who think I charge too little.) This is clearly a controversial one and occasionally I get feedback I don’t like about it – feedback that focuses on “you charge too much money in my eyes, therefore you must be a selfish person.”
What I have learned about this…
1. Discomfort teaches us courage
I think that all this discomfort for me is partly the reason why I do what I do. That discomfort, if I allow it to be, turns into exhilaration, and then boldness. It pushes me to not care what others think, regularly.
So, I think courage to be yourself and be uninhibited comes from actually practising putting yourself out there in the first place, in spite of criticisms, disapproval or people just not liking you.
The courage does not necessarily come first.
2. Not everyone is meant to like you
They say that in business, if you’re trying to cater to everyone, you’ll fail because you can’t please everyone – it’s better if you focus on your niche and your following. I think that is the same with life in general. Not everyone is meant to be your best friend or love you.
3. People are mirrors of you
When you stop caring about what another person thinks (especially when it’s another person who doesn’t like you), you say no to and wave bye bye to that inhibited part of yourself that wants to please everyone (and that part of you that wants to squish your soul into a shape it doesn’t like.) And when you accept who you are and what you do, even when other people don’t, you say yes to yourself.
Is there some situation in your life that attracts disapproval from others? How do you deal with people not liking/accepting you? How have you learned not to care what others think?
PS – I like you 
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PS I like you too lol
Timely article Anna as Im awake in the night thinking about the people who have dropped out of my life this year wondering why I wasn’t liked lol. Literally thats what Im mulling over. Also we have a new flatmate as of yesterday and of course Im being super nice so that we’re liked lol. I particularly love your point about saying byebye to that part of you that wants to squish yourself into a shape thats all bent. I work for online psychic reading sites and theyre notorious for having clients rate you based on not liking the message. If we gave a reading where we sugar coated it so it was more acceptable and the client could stay in their denial, then we face being accused of being wrong. But Ive come to find some clients just cant accept the truth and aren’t willing to face what that might mean in their life.
At a head level I tell myself that I dont care what other people think of me and what they think of me is none of my business, but my actions and feelings dont react that way lol Its a huge area of growth not being a people pleaser. Especially in this business. Now back to sleep lol
I’ve been a gay tax collector working in Georgia doing prostitution on the side all my life!
My moto has always been, “F@ck ‘em if they can’t take a joke!” But I became sort of like an M&M…the hard candy shell kept the sweet part sealed up and it began to rot.
But I have let it get to me sometimes; it seeps in somehow and sometimes you begin to believe it.
Thanks for the pep-talk…Mommy…
Michael´s last blog ..Why Do The Rich Get Richer?
Great article – quick question.
As per usual, you’ve twigged to something I need to let simmer for a bit.. . about the roles people in our lives and how relationships shift as a result.
Hmmm….
Love your work
kl
Kara-Leah´s last blog ..How yogis can have a critical impact on the world
I like you too Anna!
I tried telling people on a web forum I frequent that I was bisexual. I don’t know what I was expecting, but they totally flipped! Even a guy who I considered a good friend of mine and quite highly-conscious went a bit weird. So I’m generally going to neglect to tell people in my social circle from now on.
So imagine if I do Soul Realignment and start earning a living as a practitioner. Then I fall in love with a man and start going around holding hands with him. Then it becomes known that I dumpster dive for food. Or I become breatharian.
……………Fun!
Andrew
Andrew Gubb´s last blog ..Tests for truth (How to find the truth in a world of lies series, part V)
Hey Anna
Good on you love your work. Scammy pants hehe. Gotta admit the free palmistry thing wasn’t too well with making an income, and maybe i’m worth more than that. I’m really under the grill now because asking everyone to ask me questions whether someone is gay, having an affair or have a sexual health question. Now do i really tell them the truth when i look at their palm? oh gosh…
elly mackenzie´s last blog ..Free Palmistry readings
Lovely article Anna! People think I should work for free too with my blog, in my case it’s everything on the Internet “should” be free but they forget I need to pay the rent too
I’ve always had this habit of only saying what I think people would want me to say, look how I think they want me to look, and agreeing with people just to get along even if I really don’t agree. But over the past 2 or 3 months I’ve consciously made a choice to screw all that and get back to my core identity and it’s AMAZING what benefits come with it – especially in my blog. I’ve managed to attracted a readership of very like-minded and very beautiful people who love what I blog about and appreciate my own personal opinion.
I really love the part about how people are mirrors of you, that’s so true.
I love your blog! and ps- am looking forward to you being in Brisbane
Fran´s last blog ..Honey I Shrunk The Pores Product Review & Some Beautiful Yellow Flowers
Hi Kate,
I’m happy this was timely for you!
That is a good point about the ratings on psychic sites. I’m sure there must be some people who aren’t tuned in and who just tell others what they want to hear and might get good ratings from it as a result.
Hi Michael,
Now you strike me as someone who doesn’t give a f*** what other people think?! If so, that is a very good thing.
Hi KL
I don’t know what this triggered but glad it did! Btw, I saw your lovely bump pics on Facebook – congratulations!
Hi Andrew,
Wow, so I am surprised that those people reacted in that way.
In some ways, I suppose being psychic is a bit like being gay or bisexual…you come out of the closet, or you could keep it to yourself. I guess in your case it depends on what it means to you (your sexuality).
Well, one thing is true about being very freaky/unconventional – it filters out the intolerant people from your social circle
which is a good thing. I think one of the things I definitely appreciate in friends and people in general is open-mindedness.
Thanks Elly,
I didn’t know you could tell about someone’s sexuality from their palm! I remember when I used to read my grandmother’s handwriting analysis books, there was a lot of information about sexuality in there and it always amazed me that it’s possible tell that just from someone’s handwriting. I am even more intrigued now with what you mention here. I will have to get a move on and send you my palm photos!
Hi Fran,
Thanks for your comment! You know, I am really looking forward to being in Brisbane too!
I think it will be a lot of fun (I just wrote a lot of gin for some reason!!) lol.
It’s funny isn’t it, how some people don’t like others monetizing their work.
That is a good point you made – one of the great things about being yourself regardless of what others think is that you attract more people who resonate with you and your mindset.
Hi Anna
.
It’s funny, as someone else commented this is something I have been thinking about recently too. I can identify with your story – I have a tendancy in the past to be a people pleaser and want everyone to like me and as you said be kind to people even when they are rude but I like your observation – it is about ego isn’t it?
More recently I feel like I’m starting to be more authentic, I think as I get older I start to realise that not everyone is going to like me and trying to be ‘perfect’ for everyone is going to ’squish’ my soul! I had a situation recently that tested this and although initially upset I have let it go alot easier than i think I would have a few years ago which is a good feeling…I feel like my opinion of myself matters more these days!
Thanks for another great post Anna.
Jen
Jen´s last blog ..Inspiring People – Part 1
Hi Jen! That is something I forgot – your own opinion of yourself has to be more important than what other people think of you. After all, you’re the one who has to live with you.
That reminds me of a Byron Katie quotation – ‘it’s not your job to like me, it’s mine!’
I agree that not everyone will like you. Oh well! Life’s too short to be worried about what other people think. As long as you like yourself who cares about the naysayers who are probably closed off and miserable in their lives.
Rebecca – Amen to that!